The moment of stillness I found today was holding my 8 month old. No, she was not sleeping peacefully, in fact the room we sat in had a sound machine playing ocean sounds as well as my phone playing “peaceful music” the combination of the two sounds setting my nervous system into overdrive. I realize that the blackout curtains are not darkening the room enough, I stare at my dresser covered in unfolded clean laundry starting to mix with the remains of my clothes from the week that are neither dirty nor clean. My daughter is over tired and refusing sleep – so I sit holding her as she moves every limb and tosses her head from side to side. It is in this moment that I find stillness. I take a deep breath, relax my jaw and just sit – still. While everything around me is moving, I remain still – by choice, not because the environment invites it, but because I need it.
I remain still – by choice, not because the environment invites it, but because I need it.
Before having a baby meditation was something that I tried to do in the perfect environment. Sitting on a pillow, lights low, a candle burning, a hot cup of coffee nearby, a timer counting so that I could truly disconnect without fear of too much time passing… This scenario is not as accessible in this phase of my life. Which means that my moments of meditation are found in a noisy, imperfect bedtime routine, unplanned and stumbled into as a means of survival rather than a calm start or end to the day. But what is discovered is calm, beautiful, Jesus – with me in the mess, in the sliver of daylight peeking through the blackout curtains. So don’t wait for the perfect setup. Take a breath, slow down and simply be. Relax your jaw and breathe. Allow yourself to be frail and to lean on the strength of your Creator.
YogaFaith With Erin 